


Barisi Advent 2K19

by jamesgatz1925



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Christmas, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, more to be added later - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:28:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 10,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21819697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamesgatz1925/pseuds/jamesgatz1925
Summary: I know it’s already very far into Advent, but here is a 2019 Barisi Christmas collection.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 22
Kudos: 65





	1. Candy Cane

There is one day a year that Sonny looks forward to the most; it’s not Christmas Day or even his birthday, it’s the day Christmas candy goes on sale. 

Long before Thanksgiving but after Halloween, Sonny counts down the days for the sweet stuff. Every year, he rushes to the nearest store before work and grabs all the candy he can carry. Then, he walks it all to work and shares with people down the street as he goes. He brightens people’s days with chocolate and bickers with people reluctantly taking it with a, “It’s not even Thanksgiving yet!” 

This is the first year Sonny is continuing his tradition while waking up next to Rafael. 

Sonny wakes bright and early, thrilled for the day’s events. He has no patience to wait for Rafael so they can walk to the precinct together. He figures then is when he will spring in Rafael that they must stop at the store on the way. 

Spring on it he does. He stops in front of the first shop and nearly falls when Rafael doesn’t follow but holds onto his hand. 

“What are you doing?” Rafael asks. 

“I gotta grab some stuff.”

“What stuff?”

“Just stuff. Come on,” Sonny says, pulling on Rafael’s hand. 

Rafael lets go. “You go. Looks crowded. I still haven’t had my coffee.”

Sonny nods at a little bakery across the street. “You go get our cups, I’ll just run in real quick.”

Rafael rolls his eyes, then turns on his heels and leaves Sonny. 

Sonny rushes through the store. There’s cookies, candy, peppermint and sugar galore. There’s only so much Sonny can carry, but he grabs all he can and rushes out of there. 

When Sonny meets Rafael on the street, Rafael’s holding two steaming cups and Sonny’s holding two shopping bags full of sweets. 

Rafael lifts an eyebrow. “What the—“

“It’s candy day, Rafi!”

“I thought candy days were the days after Halloween and Valentine’s Day, you know, those days when candy is half off.”

Sonny shakes his head. “It’s Christmas candy day, baby. Candy canes, gingerbread, chocolate, you name it!”

Rafael rolls his eyes. 

Sonny reaches into on bag, pops the seal on one of the packages of candy canes, and skillfully gets one out. He holds it up for Rafael. 

Rafael threatens to roll his eyes again, Sonny can tell, so Sonny just places it in his breast pocket. 

“For later.”

Rafael cracks a smile. “You’re very cute, Sonny.”

“I know this.”

Rafael eyes Sonny’s shopping bags. “What are you going to do with all of that?”

Sonny began to open more packages of candy. “Spread the holiday cheer.”

“You’re a menace. It’s not even Thanksgiving.”

“Don’t start with me. Just try to keep up.”

Rafael smiles, then gladly follows Sonny down the street as he begins passing out candy canes and chocolate to everyone he sees. 


	2. Holiday Decoration

“Do not,” Rafael warned, his tone dark and almost daring. 

Sonny lifted an eyebrow, a move learned from Rafael over the years of their acquaintance. 

“Do what, counselor?”

Sonny draped the tinsel he was holding over Rafael’s shoulders, then playfully used the garland to pull himself in to Rafael. Rafael tried to resist a laugh, but he couldn’t. 

“Don’t make tinsel sexy.”

Rafael reached for his glass-empty for the sixth or seventh time that night—as Sonny wrapped the tinsel around his own hips. Far more drunk than Rafael—probably because he weighed less, the string bean—Sonny shimmied it over his hips in a bad attempt to, in fact, make tinsel sexy. 

It was nearly one in the morning and the tree was almost done. When they arrived home from a late dinner hours ago, Rafael poured their first drink as Sonny got into pajamas. A night reserved for sleep was changed when they were on their third glass, when Rafael decided he was not tired and instead mentioned that they should put up the tree. 

Sonny had all but jumped off the couch, slipped on his shoes, then dragged Rafael down to the building’s storage room to get their tree out. They giggled loudly and shushed each other in the dark basement, stealing kisses around dust and finally locating the tree box and decorations. Then, the trick was quietly getting it upstairs without waking their cranky neighbors. The real humor was when Sonny dropped the box on his toes and howled so loud that Rafael couldn’t help but laugh. Sonny joined in Rafael’s laughter, then they laughed in the other’s mouth against a neighbor’s front door until they somehow remembered their location and scurried up the stairs. 

Sonny almost had the beautiful tree finished and had a new mission to make Rafael laugh. Or hot. Rafael wasn’t actually sure what Sonny was trying to accomplish with the tinsel. 

“Would it help if I was naked?”

Rafael laughed. “Dear god, no.”

“First time you ever denied me naked, Rafi. Where’s the magic gone?”

“Your skin is too sensitive for scratchy tinsel.”

Sonny sexy shimmied against Rafael. Rafael laughed again and pushed at Sonny’s hips. 

“What if I got some mistletoe and hung it on my belt?” Sonny wiggled his eyebrows. 

“You’re not wearing a belt, you’re wearing pajamas.”

“And you’re very hot.”

“It’s the alcohol.”

Sonny shook the tinsel behind him again, like a sexy feather boa that burlesque girls use. Rafael couldn’t help but hook his fingers in the waistband of his pajama pants. 

“We’re almost done,” Rafael said instead of kissing Sonny like he was itchy to. 

“‘Kay,” Sonny said, stepping away. Sashaying away, actually. “We can finish this later,” he added with a wiggle of his hips. 

Rafael shook his head, knowing fully that Sonny would pass out as soon as they finished. Especially if he kept pouring them drinks like he was. At least he could laugh about it tomorrow while Sonny will be too hung over to move. Maybe he can recreate a tinsel dance for Sonny. Tinsel optional. 


	3. First Snow

Rafael is tired. Always tired, always exhausted, with perpetual bags under his eyes and the ability to stifle a yawn in the most dire of times. He is just tired. 

Nearly eleven, Rafael is finally leaving his office after the longest day ever lived. It just wouldn’t end, clearly, because it was so dark outside that he thought maybe the sun would come up soon. 

His breath is foggy in front of his face, where it blows out over his scarf that is bunched under his chin. It is literally freezing out, so cold that the ground is slick. He is afraid of slipping with every step, but there aren’t enough cabs going by for a ride. Besides, Rafael is afraid of falling asleep in the back of a car.

And then it hits him. A big splat right on his nose before he notices the rest of the dark sky getting covered, too. 

Snow

Fucking snow. 

Rafael hates snow. It’s cold and isn’t as soft as it seems in movies, and it slows down traffic and gets in his shoes. He hates it. Hates every single thing about it. 

Rafael takes out his phone. Dials the one number he knows by heart. 

Sonny answers in two rings. “Hey baby, you on your way home yet?”

“Come get me.”

Sonny begins a chuckle, then gets somber fast. “Wait, you ok?”

“I can’t get a cab. I’m cold. It’s snowing. Come get me.”

“Are you—“

Rafael looks around. “There’s a bar. I’m going into the bar.” 

“Raf—“

“I’m cold!”

Sonny laughs. Rafael can hear him grabbing his keys. 

“It’s the first snow,” Sonny comments. 

“I’d noticed.”

“Can’t just enjoy it?”

“I’ve had almost fifty years of first snows. I’m all out.”

“Text me the address.”

“There’s snow, Sonny.”

“Have a drink, Rafi.”

“Snow.”

“Love you.”

“Snow!”

Sonny laughs, then hangs up. Rafael quickly sends his location to Sonny, then enters the bar with no grand flurry. It’s warm, so he sheds his coat, shakes off the snow, then takes a seat. 

He sits, warm and getting toastier by the second, waiting for Sonny to rescue him. What a man, Rafael has. What a knight. Rafael deserves none of it. He just wants out of the snow. 


	4. Evening Ritual

Sonny rushed home. He usually did, even when there wasn’t much to look forward to besides a warm meal and a shower, but now he was rushing home for a reason. 

Rafael was also on his way home, and they were in a weird sort of race. Dinner was being forgotten, end-of-work conversation being delayed, for one sole objective: who would plug in the tree lights first. 

It was always Sonny. Sonny was in charge of the lights. Sonny was in charge of all things Christmas all the time. It wasn’t that Rafael didn’t care, he just usually forgot. If he got home first, he went straight to change before starting dinner. The tree didn’t get turned on until Sonny got home. 

But tonight, when Sonny called Rafael to let him know he was on his way, Rafael mentioned that he was also on his way. Sonny knew he was in a good mood when Rafael joked, “I bet I can get there first. To turn the tree on.”

Sonny had laughed, but knew Rafael was serious, so he practically ran down the street because traffic was picking up. 

Out of breath and worn out, he slowed down as he approached their street. He waited at the stoplight across the street from their building and caught his breath. 

Sonny thought he was in the clear, thought he’d get home first, when a cab pulled up in front of the building and Rafael climbed out of it. 

Sonny was off the curb before the light changed. Barely before, because he wasn’t completely insane, he still ran across the street and dodged people in order to get across. 

Rafael spotted him, then must have had the same thought because he darted for the front door. 

Sonny picked up his pace. He ran up the stoop after Rafael, through the front door, and to the stairs. They crowded against each other to climb the flights. 

“I’m faster than you,” Sonny muttered. 

“Really? Because it seems I’m a step ahead. As usual.”

Sonny tripped his feet, not hard enough for Rafael to fall, but enough for Sonny to get ahead. They got to the first landing and rounded to run up the next set of stairs. 

“Give it up, old man,” Sonny said. 

“Old man?” Rafael questioned. He pinched Sonny’s thigh. 

“Ow!” Sonny yelped, falling a little but catching himself on Rafael’s coat. 

Rafael fell next to Sonny, barely, so Sonny pushed himself up using Rafael’s shoulder, shoving Rafael further to the floor. 

“You’re such an ass,” Rafael commented, laughing as he tried to get up. 

Sonny felt bad, he did. He wanted to win, but he didn’t want to hurt Rafael. He held out a hand for Rafael, pulling him up. 

But Rafael was a lot trickier than Sonny, much more of an ass, so he yanked Sonny to the ground and got to his feet first. 

“Son of a bitch,” Sonny said, laughing, as Rafael darted up the last stairs and to their door. He got up and quickly met Rafael at the door, where Rafael was fumbling with his keys. 

Sonny decided the best way to win was to play dirty. He pulled Rafael’s keys out of his hands and shoved the man against the door in one motion. Then, he pushed Rafael into the door and kissed him. 

“Mmm,” Rafael sighed. “Unfair,” he muttered against Sonny’s lips. 

Sonny pushed his tongue into Rafael’s mouth while he skillfully got his own key into the lock and opened the door. 

They stumbled into the apartment, somehow never breaking their kiss. 

“This—will—never end—“ Rafael mumbled between sucking kisses. His hand was in Sonny’s hair while Sonny’s hand dropped their keys and started on their coats. 

“The tree won’t get turned on,” Rafael added quickly while Sonny paused to drop their coats. 

“Maybe I’ll just turn you on.”

Rafael groaned in pain. “That was terrible, even for you.” 

Sonny kissed him again, licking Rafael’s lip as he began. “Why don’t we call a truce?” 

“But how would we decide who turns on the tree?” 

“Flip a coin.”

“I don’t have a coin on me.”

“I don’t either. Let me grab one.”

Sonny gave Rafael a parting kiss before he darted away. Rafael waited until Sonny was down the hall before he ran to the tree and plugged it in. 

“Damn it, Raf!” Sonny cried when he returned, then he didn’t give Rafael time to get up before he tackled him onto the floor. 

“You suck,” Sonny added. “You know I love turning on the tree.”

“You know I love making you crazy.”

“You do it well,” Sonny said. “I almost won anyway.”

“Yeah, right. Thinking you could beat me home on foot.”

“You couldn’t.”

“I didn’t try. I got a cab.”

Sonny kissed Rafael. “I’ll win tomorrow.”

“We’ll see. We will see, my love.”


	5. Plate of Cookies

Rafael tried. 

He really did. 

He, honest to God, tried. 

But when he was banned from doing something, well, that did things to Rafael. A childhood of broken bones and split lips was proof of that. Not keeping his mouth shut, not playing it safe, not listening to other’s warnings, that was proof. And now? A plateful of missing cookies was proof. 

Sonny had a call. It was three in the afternoon the Saturday before Christmas, a day reserved for baking and getting ready for the upcoming week, was cut short because Sonny’s phone rang. He shut off the oven, not trusting Rafael to do so, put the remaining cookie dough in the fridge, and gave Rafael that terrible instruction. 

“These are goin’ to my ma’s tomorrow, so don’t eat ‘em. I’ll be back soon.”

All Rafael heard was ‘don’t’, and that was the end of that. 

It was almost a dare. There were two dozen sugar cookies on the plate, already frosted and decorated, and Rafael licked his lips as he stared at them. 

Sonny was gone about half an hour before Rafael convinced himself that one wouldn’t hurt. 

It was another half an hour before one turned into two, which turned into a few, which turned into half the plate. They weren’t large cookies, since Sonny believed that smaller cookies widened the batch, but Rafael had still eaten about a dozen and Sonny had only been gone half the afternoon. 

Rafael laid on the couch in a sugary daze. He didn’t know how much time had passed or when the dull ache in his stomach would end, all he knew was Sonny was bound to be home at some point and many of his cookies were missing. But Rafael figured he would cross that bridge when he came to it. All he could focus on then was not puking. 

It wasn’t long before Sonny got home. 

“Hey honey, I’m back,” he announced through the open door. “And I’m starving. What’d’ya say I order something since I still got—“

Sonny had wandered to the living room, where Rafael still lay sprawled on the couch. “What happened to you?”

“You did,” Rafael said.

“I d—“ Sonny’s eyes widened. “Rafi!” he cried, rushing to the kitchen. 

Rafael heard him get the plate to see the missing cookies. 

“What part of ‘don’t eat them’ didn’t make sense to you?!” Sonny called. 

“All of it.”

“It wasn’t a challenge!”

Sonny returned to the couch. He grabbed Rafael’s hand and yanked him to his feet. 

“Where are we going?” Rafael asked. 

“You’re helping me make more!”

“But my stomach hurts,” Rafael whined. 

“I bet it does! More than a dozen cookies, Raf, really?!”

Sonny got out the leftover dough and the cookie cutters. 

“Unbelievable,” Sonny muttered as he poured flour on the counter. 

“Would it make you feel any better if I said they are delicious?” Rafael asked. 

“A little.”

“You truly outdid yourself.”

Sonny patted Rafael’s bloated belly. “I can tell.”

Rafael shrugged, then helped Sonny get the rest of the cookies in the oven. He didn’t think he would want to see another cookie after the first dozens, but the next were just as tasty. 


	6. Winter Clothes

“Do I look okay?”

Amanda ventured a look up at the question. Her eyes quickly took in Carisi in a dark blue peacoat, unbuttoned revealing the same gray suit he been wearing all day, with a deep red scarf draped around his neck and tan winter gloves poised on each hand. 

Her mouth let out a, “What?”

Sonny sighed. “Come on, do I look okay?”

“You look same as you have all day,” Amanda said, although in a split second she did notice something was different. Did he change? Was he wearing something else? Did he—

His hair. His hair was combed again, better than it was earlier that morning, and the fresh do made the look. She could tell in an instant that Carisi had somewhere to be. Somewhere special. 

Amanda grinned. “Why do you ask?”

Sonny rolled his eyes. “Never mind.”

“Nah, come on, Carisi. Got a date?”

Carisi blushed all the way to his ears. Amanda laughed loudly. That was just comical. The sheer embarrassment at the mention was enough to leave her in stitches. 

She had her suspicions, that Sonny was dating somebody. She also had her suspicions that Barba was also dating, and the thought that if they weren’t dating each other at this point, she was ready to kill them. Or their sexual tension would first. 

Fuck it, Amanda decided. She was getting to the bottom of it. 

“You know, Barba will really like that scarf.”

Sonny lifted it. “Yeah?” 

Amanda managed to hold in a laugh so Sonny belatedly realized what he’d said. His face turned an even darker shade as Amanda did let out her laugh. 

“Fuckin’ knew it,” she said through laughter. 

Sonny glanced at Benson’s office. “Keep it down, will ya? Not everyone needs to know.”

“Oh trust me, we all know.”

Sonny’s eyes widened. 

Amanda added, “Not officially, you know, but we know.”

Sonny just sighed. “Well, anyway—“

“Spare the details, just tell me, if Barba already saw you today, what does it matter what you look like?” 

Sonny bit his lip. “Well...”

Amanda pierced him with a glare. “Spill.”

“I’m, uh, I’m not just seeing him tonight.”

Amanda was confused now. Was there more to their relationship than she thought...

“Is there someone else?”

“What? Someone else like...” Sonny’s eyes widened again. “Wow, no! Not like someone else dating us, what the fuck?!”

“Well, you’re being all weird!”

“I’m gonna meet his mom tonight!”

“Oh...” Amanda sighed. “Oh! Shit, so it’s like real?” 

“Yeah, it’s pretty real.”

“Meeting his mom.”

Sonny sighed. “Meeting his mom.”

“Nervous?”

“Wouldn’t you be?”

Amanda grinned. “That’s fair. I’ve met her once. Just in passing.”

“And?”

“I think she told me my shoes weren’t suiting.”

“That’s where he gets it from. And why I’m freaking out over my clothes.”

“Well, you look great. Really. Not a hair out of place.”

Sonny deflated in relief. “Alright. Great.” He grabbed his keys and things off his desk. 

“Good luck,” Amanda said. 

“Thanks. I’ll need it.”

Amanda gave him a parting smile before he turned to leave. Many of her questions were answered, but she still had many opinions on the matter. 

Another time, she thought, because Sonny had an important date to get to. 


	7. Family Portrait

Rafael itched. His skin felt strange; maybe it was the uncomfortable setting or maybe it was just Staten Island itself. They had to be the ones to travel, of course, since the event was in the Carisi backyard, and he felt himself get more and more allergic to the salty air by the second. 

This was in addition to being uncomfortable. He sat in the corner of the backyard, away from everyone, away from everything. Sonny was with him for the time being, since he didn’t have a family of his own and he didn’t need his picture taken yet.

Yet. 

Sonny was soon to leave. Soon to join the big family portrait. And Rafael would be left alone to watch. 

He didn’t even know why he needed to attend. Sonny had said it was a family thing, and Rafael made plans to stay in the city and get some work done, but just that morning Sonny had said, “‘Kay, you ready?” and Rafael found himself on the ferry. 

The family thing was a set of family pictures for each individual family and each of the grandchildren before a big family portrait. Rafael had no part in it, so why he was dragged across the river was beyond him. He wasn’t a part of the family. He and Sonny had barely been together a year. 

Okay, more than a year. 

Okay, eighteen months, but who was counting? He wasn’t in the family. 

Sonny was bouncing his little nephew Jamie in his knee as Jamie played games on Sonny’s phone. 

Jamie was six and had the cutest little accent. “Wafi,” he asked, “Do you have this game?”

“I don’t,” Rafael answered. 

“How come? It’s fun.”

Rafael glanced over. It was some racing game that he saw Sonny play all the time. He knew the tricks, the ins and outs by now. 

“Hit that,” Rafael told him.

Jamie steered his car over to hit a box and got a prize. 

“Thanks, Wafi!” Jamie cried.

Rafael smiled. 

Watching Jamie, he was distracted enough away from the photos being taken. Each family took their turn, then the kids, then different combinations of the cousins, then the grandparents with the grandkids. 

When each family took their turn, Sonny and Rafael would take turns playing with each kid. Rafael talked to the older kids about school or good books, and the younger kids got to play games on Uncle Sonny’s phone, which Rafael talked to them about because he knew so much about Sonny’s games. He was good with the kids, fine with the family, and he didn’t feel as out of place as he should.

Except when he glanced over and noticed the pictures being taken. Each individual family contributing to the big picture. All but Sonny. 

Sonny was happy, though. He loved playing with the kids, loved snacking on the yummy treats Mrs. Carisi had prepared and drinking the cocktails his sisters thought up. He was having a great afternoon at home, Rafael could tell. Rafael was glad he wasn’t bringing Sonny down with his own awkwardness. 

Finally, the big moment arrived. The photographer called everyone over for the family portrait. Sonny got out of his seat, hauled little Jamie up with him, and strolled over. 

Rafael remained seated. He didn’t look up from his phone because he didn’t want to feel so self-conscious. He didn’t want to make awkward eye contact with anyone. 

Not until Mrs. Carisi called, “Rafael, what’re you waiting for?”

Rafael glanced up. A few people who weren’t fussing with their kids were looking at him, including Sonny. He was smiling, looking hopeful. 

Mrs. Carisi waved him over. “Come on, honey,” she said. 

Rafael felt weird as he got up. He felt weird setting his phone down and shedding his coat like everyone else. He felt weird as he slid close to Sonny, with one of Sonny’s nieces kind of between them. 

“Didn’t think you’d be off the hook, did you?” Sonny asked as he wrapped an arm around Rafael’s shoulders. 

“Kind of unexpected.”

“Unexpected? Why do you think I brought you?”

“Friendly company?”

Sonny rolled his eyes. “My ma asked for you to come before I could ask to invite you. You’re a part of the family, Raf. For better or for worst.”

The words hit Rafael like a brick wall. “For better or—“

Sonny winked, then looked away toward the camera. 

The family photo that hangs in the Carisi living room shows Sonny, smiling from ear to ear, his niece in his arms, and Rafael, staring at the man he loves with so much adoration that not even Rafael recognizes himself when he looks at it. 

And it’s one of the happiest moments he’s ever had. 


	8. Inspirational Quote

Rafael was bursting with anticipation. It was Christmas morning and Sonny was on his way over. They’d only been seeing each other a few weeks, so Sonny didn’t spend the night, but he still had a great gift for the man and was dying for Sonny to open it. 

Rafael was pretty thrilled to receive a gift, too. He and Sonny agreed, nothing too big, but getting a present what always fun, no matter how big. Plus, it helped when the gift came from someone you cared so deeply about. 

Rafael wasn’t new to receiving gifts from Sonny. Sonny gave gifts constantly, from cups of coffee to pastries to “I just thought you’d like it”.Those gifts were never big either, but it was still fun every time Rafael got one. 

He was used to getting Christmas gifts from Sonny, too. Sonny, a natural giver, gave the whole squad a gift every Christmas. Usually something practical, never over the top, but Rafael was even glad to get that from Sonny this year. 

Rafael’s usual Christmas gift from Sonny was a calendar. For the past three years, Sonny had given Rafael a page-a-day calendar of inspirational quotes. At first, Rafael thought they were stupid. Flipping through the little booklet, there were quotes as generic as “Seize the day!” and “Life, Laugh, Love”. Rafael rolled his eyes when he first opened the gift. 

Nonetheless, he used the gift every day. It took him a while to remember to change the day, but in three years he gained the habit to never forget. He even grew to like the calendar so much that he kept the ones he liked. His third one was running out and he was looking forward to the fourth. 

He figured Sonny had caught on to the calendar’s usefulness, and that’s why Sonny kept buying them year after year. He was sure it was a “thing” now, a thing Sonny always does as much as kissing Rafael upon entering a room was a “thing”. It was like a tradition. Something he did. Something he knew Rafael liked. 

Sonny finally arrived. He knocked carefully on the door and Rafael was quick to answer. 

“Hey,” Sonny greeted, sweeping in with a kiss to Rafael. “Merry Christmas,” he nearly whispered against Rafael’s lips. 

“Merry Christmas,” Rafael replied before giving Sonny another kiss. 

Sonny had an armful if gifts.

“I thought we said simple,” Rafael commented as Sonny entered and took off his coat, switching the pile in his hands as he skillfully shimmied out of the garment. 

Rafael took his coat and hung it. 

“You should know, I’m a liar.”

Rafael walked over to the tree, motioning to the five gifts under the tree. “Me too,” he said. 

Sonny smiled. “Perfect for each other, then.”

Rafael gave him another kiss, then he left Sonny to get their coffees. 

Once they were snuggled on the floor with big blankets and bigger cups of coffee (with peppermint creamer that Rafael had surprised Sonny with), they passed each other their presents and began to open. 

Rafael opened a scarf first, then black leather gloves that he was sure were more expensive than they’d agreed upon. No matter, Sonny opened a French press coffee maker and wireless headphones. Neither of them had any chill buying gifts, and Rafael was still disappointed that he didn’t get Sonny more that he deserved. 

Finally, Rafael got to his final present. It was small, and he was sure it was that calendar. His stomach flipped thinking about the first time he got the calendar to now. That first year, he could hardly stand the sight of Sonny in ill fitting suits and overly gelled hair. Now, he stole kisses over sips of peppermint coffee. Hell, he bought peppermint creamer. Everything had changed, and for the better.

He pulled back the paper, anticipation getting funny in his stomach, and then—

It wasn’t a calendar. It was book light. 

He stared at it, kind of confused. 

“It’s a book light,” Sonny said, “‘Cause you like to read in bed.”

Rafael snapped out of it. “Oh, no, yeah, I love it, thank you.” He leaned over and kissed Sonny absentmindedly. 

“Is it...did I do something wrong?”

“Huh? No, of course not, thank you for all of these gifts.”

“Yeah, thank you, too.”

Rafael could tell he was making Sonny uncomfortable, so he tried to drop it. 

“More coffee?”

It was fine. Maybe Sonny forgot. Maybe it was just a dumb gift he picked up and it didn’t hold any meaning to him, unlike for Rafael. Maybe Rafael had been harboring these stupid feelings for a block of paper that Sonny didn’t think about. Maybe Sonny hadn’t cared about giving Rafael a practical, useful, and thoughtful gift for years because he hadn’t cared for Rafael during all that time. Like Rafael kind of did. 

Like Rafael definitely did. And Sonny hadn’t returned them until recently. 

It was stupid, is what it was. Rafael was being stupid. He had Sonny now. He got to kiss Sonny whenever he wanted now. He got other, way awesome gifts from Sonny now. 

He busied himself getting them fresh cups of coffee. He really was being stupid. 

Rafael could hear Sonny cleaning up the wrapping paper. God, he was ruining the whole day, all over a stupid calendar with stupid quotes. 

Sonny threw the trash away, then stopped close to Rafael. 

“Did I fuck up?”

“Of course not.”

“Then why are you upset all of a sudden?”

One of Rafael’s saved quotes from the calendar said, ‘Honesty saves everyone’s time.’ When he began to grow closer with Sonny, that quote popped up, and it was what got the ball rolling for him, about being honest with Sonny about his feelings. He thought about it often. He thought about it now. 

“I was just...” he began. 

“What?” Sonny filled in. 

Rafael shrugged. “I was looking forward to that dumb calendar that you always get for me. I...I thought you got one for me every year because you, I don’t know, cared about giving it to me all those years.” 

Sonny cracked a smile. 

“Don’t,” Rafael warned. 

“No, I’m not, like, laughing at you. Being moody over a calendar.”

“Gee, thanks.”

Sonny chuckled. “I’m laughing because I did care about getting you the calendar every year, but...I got ‘em for you because I thought they annoyed you. I thought it was an inner joke all those years. I thought every year you opened it going, ‘What the fuck, Carisi?’ You liked them?”

“Well, yeah, because I thought you noticed how much I used them. I thought you were being sentimental. Now I see that you were trying to be a pain.”

“Honey, I am always trying to be a pain.”

Rafael breathed out a laugh at that. “You’ve got that right.”

“Anyway, I did get you one this year. It’s at your office.”

“My office? Why?”

“‘Cause I thought the squad or Carmen would notice if you were the only one I didn’t get a gift for. Then we’d have to tell everyone we exchanged gifts at home, and that would open up a can of worms. You know them. They act like they’re detectives or something.”

Rafael smiled. Sonny had a point. The squad would have noticed. 

“Besides,” Sonny added, “My first time buying you real gifts, I wasn’t gonna waste that opportunity on an eight-dollar calendar.”

Rafael liked the sound of that, too. He kissed Sonny. 

Then, he realized something. All of his gifts were for Sonny at home. 

“Does this mean I have to get you something at the office, too?” 

“When have you ever given me a gift at the office?”

“Hey! I brought you coffee last week.”

“‘Kay. When had you ever given me a gift before I was sleeping with you?”

“Yeah, that’s fair.”

“Yeah,” Sonny agreed, laughing. 

Rafael had to kiss him.

When they pulled apart, Sonny was still smiling. “Alright, now are you going to lose the attitude so we can enjoy our Christmas morning?”

Rafael sighed. “I guess.” He grabbed the refilled coffee mugs. 

Sonny wrapped one arm around Rafael’s shoulders, then they went back to the couch to watch a crappy Christmas movie. 


	9. Table Setting

Sonny uncrossed and recrossed his arms. He was uncomfortable, both because he was squished on the couch and because he was sitting way to fucking close to Rafael. 

It didn’t help that the man smelled delicious. It didn’t help that he was so warm and so handsome. 

But no, Sonny couldn’t think of any of that. He was mad. He was downright pissed. Rafael had no goddamn right, no freakin’ reason to throw all of Sonny’s evidence out for the case they were taking to court in a week. He had some nerve yelling at Sonny over it in his office. 

Rafael wasn’t the only one who yelled, and he wasn’t even the one who brought work home with him the day before. They had agreed, when they got together, that work stayed at the office and home was for kisses and closeness. But it was Sonny who attacked as soon as Rafael walked through the door, just like he had in Rafael’s office when Rafael threw out the evidence. It was Sonny who was still mad. 

Rafael was pretty mad, too, but not mad enough to let Sonny go to Staten Island on his own. 

“Stay here,” Sonny had argued back at their apartment. 

“I’ve been waiting all year for your mom’s pecan pie. I am not staying here by myself.”

“You don’t deserve my mom’s pie.”

Rafael had rolled his eyes and got in the car anyway, as Sonny gripped the steering wheel like he wanted to break it off and whack Rafael with it. 

Sonny uncrossed and recrossed his arms. 

“Will you cut that out?” Rafael snapped. 

“What, am I bothering you?” Sonny did it again. He elbowed Rafael.

Rafael elbowed him back. “Knock it off.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

“Grow up.”

Sonny made a face, remnant of the sour faces Rafael saw in photos of Sonny as a little kid. 

“Mature,” Rafael commented. 

Sonny’s sister Theresa leaned close to them. “You two had better cut your shit out. If you wanna fight, go outside.”

“No,” Sonny answered. “I don’t even want to talk to him—“

“I don’t want you to talk to me—“

“I don’t even want to be in the same room as him—“

“Too fuckin’ bad—“

“Shut up!” Theresa hissed. “If you’re not going to be civil I will separate you. What the hell is going on, anyway? A week ago when we got together you couldn’t keep your hands off each other.”

“Rafael has made some questionable decisions,” Sonny answered. 

“Oh, I’m the one who—“

Suddenly, Sonny’s mother called from the kitchen. “Sonny! Can you come set the table? Rafi, you too!”

Sonny sighed loudly. “Great, now we’re in trouble.” He threw himself off the couch and didn’t wait for Rafael to get up before he entered the kitchen. 

Rafael did join a minute later. Sonny didn’t want to know if he and Theresa said anything more, and frankly it would’ve been fine had Rafael stayed to chat with her. 

Sonny wouldn’t be mad forever, he knew that. This fight wasn’t worth breaking up over. But he was mad, and he knew he had a right to be. He knew Rafael was being an ass at work. 

Sonny placed silverware as Rafael placed plates and napkins. They worked in silence around the table for about a minute. 

“You can’t not talk to me forever,” Rafael said, breaking the silence first. 

“Watch me.”

“So, what, for the rest of your life you’re just not going to speak to me? We live together, work together, but what do you want for dinner? Who knows? You’re not talking to me.”

Sonny was not mad enough to argue with ‘the rest of your life’, but he also wasn’t loving enough at the moment to be joyful at the notion. 

“Maybe,” was all he said. 

Rafael sighed, pausing to look at Sonny. “Really? That’s fine. Because we are not breaking up—“

Sonny snorted. “Of course we’re not breaking up.”

“Then fucking talk to me!”

“Fine!” Sonny cried. 

“Preferably not with knives in your hand!” 

Sonny dropped the silverware on the table with a metallic clank. Rafael set down the last remaining plates. 

“I’m so fucking mad Rafael that I don’t even know what to say.”

“You’re mad, that’s all you have to say.”

“Yeah? And? Is it gonna change your mind?”

“Would it change a jury’s mind? No, Sonny, it wouldn’t. It was jumbled from the start and they—“

“I wanna at least try.”

“The defense would tear you up on the stand! I’m trying to protect you as a cop!”

“Fuck that, I can take care of myself.”

“Not when there’s a victim, Sonny. Not when Calhoun will laugh in our faces and someone will walk because this evidence...Sonny, it’s not good. Even you have to see that.”

Rafael...wasn’t incorrect. It wasn’t the best evidence Sonny ever found. It was a leap. It was a chance. But it was one Sonny was willing to take. 

“I’m not submitting it,” Rafael said. “We can fight all you want, you never have to talk to me again, but I’m not submitting it. For the victim.”

Sonny picked up the silverware again. Rafael was right. They couldn’t chance the victim not getting what she deserved just because of Sonny’s shitty evidence. He could do better. He could do more. 

“You’re not going to stab me—“

Sonny sighed. “No, I’m not gonna fucking stab you, Rafi. At least not in my ma’s dining room.”

Rafael nodded. He picked up the plates. 

They were silent for about one more minute, until Rafael ruined it again. 

“I’m sorry that I feel like I have to protect you on the stand. I should know you can hold your own. It’s just...it’s not just about you and I when we’re in court.”

“No, I know,” Sonny agreed. “I know. I know I’m being dumb and taking it personally. I understand. I wanna protect you too, Raf. I always have.”

“I know. You do a good job of it, too.”

Sonny nodded. “I try.”

Rafael rounded the table and placed the last plate. He stopped right next to Sonny. “Can we be friends again?”

Sonny placed the last of the silverware. “C’mere,” he said, opening his arms. 

Rafael quickly slid against him. 

“Desperate,” Sonny joked.

“Well, when you’ve been a dick for two days.”

“I’m the dick?”

“You won’t like this argument.”

Sonny decided not to argue. He just squeezed Rafael. 

“It wasn’t personal,” Rafael said, his breath hot against Sonny’s neck. “I know you can do better.”

“I know I can, too.”

Rafael kissed the spot of Sonny’s neck that he could reach. Sonny kissed his head. 

They stood in an embrace for a few seconds, just feeling and forgiving. It was quiet, with no fighting or yelling that there had been in the time earlier. 

It was almost too quiet, which caused them to jump when Sonny’s mother entered the room in a flurry. 

“Oh good!” she cried, “You’ve made up! Now, no more vulgar language, young men, you know the rules in this house!”

Sonny and Rafael slowly parted. “Yes, ma’am,” they both sighed. 

“I’m going to call everyone in soon,” Mrs. Carisi said. “You go get washed up.”

The men nodded, then left the room hand in hand. 

It wasn’t until they returned to the table, after pausing to make out in the bathroom, that they noticed they served some places with two forks and no plate at all. 


	10. Gold

Sonny was not the worst decision maker in the world. He made hundreds of decisions a day, some extremely difficult, but he was capable. He could make a choice. 

So why it was so incredibly difficult to choose a freakin’ ring was beyond him. 

He didn’t think the ring would be the hardest part of proposing. He thought making a speech, thinking of and saying the words would be tough. He thought choosing the right location and most romantic way would be tough. 

Nope; it’s the goddamn ring. 

Gold or silver?

Thick band or thin?

Diamond in the center?

Plain or fancy?

Sonny had asked for advice from every woman he knew; why he thought it was a good idea to get a second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth opinion was truly a mistake. But everyone brought to the table something different for Sonny to consider. 

“What color would he like to wear most often?”

“Does he have fat fingers?”

“Is he really that flashy?”

“Yeah, he’s that flashy.”

“But what do you think, Son?”

He didn’t know what he thought. He just wanted to ask Rafael and get it over with. 

But he needed a ring. 

Sonny didn’t think he didn’t know how to make a decision. Usually, his decision making was very good. At work, getting other gifts, even what’s for dinner, he was cool and confident when presenting his decisions. 

He didn’t think he would ever propose to Rafael because of the damn ring. 

Sonny went through all of Rafael’s belongings to find clues as to what he should pick out. Rafael had both silver and gold cuff links, tie clips, and suspender clips. Rafael was flashy enough for loud accent colors, but knew when to tone it down to a dull charcoal or blue. If anything, Sonny’s snooping made him notice that Rafael doesn’t wear jewelry, would he even wear a ring?

Sonny just wasn’t sure. He thought about just asking, then leaving the ring decisions to the more fashionable part of the duo, but where’s the surprise in that? Sonny could do it. He knew he could. 

Three months of ring shopping finally passed. Sonny had been to every jewelry store in all of Manhattan, by himself and with company. His sisters, Liv, and Rollins all took turns vetoing his choices, but Sonny saw their side. No ring was suitable. No ring was enough. Nothing was what Sonny had in mind, if he even had anything in mind. 

And then, it happened. 

Two weeks into December, Sonny was walking home one night when he noticed a jewelry store he had never been into. He had never even seen it. It was as though it had popped out of nowhere. 

It was fate. 

Sonny dipped inside. It was a sweet little shop, nice and warm on such a cold day, and everything was bright and beautiful. 

As if a moth to a flame, Sonny drifted in and straight to a case. None in particular, but he just knew. He knew what he wanted was there. 

Sure enough, center of the display on the case, was the ring. It was perfect. Rafael would love it. He loved it. Sonny bought it without even thinking twice, then rushed home to hide it before Rafael arrived. 


	11. Silver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of Gold! 
> 
> I know Christmas is over, but if you want to keep reading I’ll do a few more. Thank you for reading and happy holidays!

Sonny was ready. So ready. He hadn’t been more ready for any single event in his entire life. 

He was so nervous. So damn nervous. He couldn’t count a time that he was any more nervous in his entire life. 

Sonny was going to propose to Rafael. 

Once Sonny had the ring hidden safely in the toe of one of his dress shoes, all the panic he hadn’t felt before began to seep in. He had been so focused on finding the ring that he hadn’t thought of the details. 

Where would he propose?

When would he propose?

What would he say? 

How could he articulate to Rafael how much Sonny loved him, appreciated him, and how much Sonny wanted to marry him? 

Sonny wanted Rafael to be with him forever so badly that it hurt. His desire was so strong, his desire for the two of them to begin their forever was just too grand. He felt in his heart that they were meant to be together, and as far as Sonny was concerned, nothing would stop it. 

Not even Sonny’s unimaginative proposal ideas. Not even his lack of preparation could stop the freight train that is his love from crashing into the station. 

Sonny thought that choosing a “when” would give him some sort of time frame for the event, a deadline that he could stick to. And, perhaps the “when” was the easiest part. He decided he would propose on Christmas, maybe Christmas Eve depending on what the events of the day looked like. Maybe before church on Christmas Eve. Maybe at home before they took off to Staten Island for two days of celebration. 

Yes, Sonny decided. Alone in their apartment, just the two of them, before heading to Staten Island. Sonny would let Rafael open a present early and pop the question then. 

So, the “when” and “where” were set, and Sonny had two weeks to think of something grand to say. Some way to say how much he loved Rafael. How much he wanted to be with rafae forever. How perfect Rafael was for him and how fantastic their life together was. 

Two weeks passed almost too fast. Sonny was so busy with work that he thought he had more time until it was the 23rd and everyone was saying goodbye until Thursday. 

“Holy shit, tomorrow’s Christmas Eve?” Sonny asked as Rollins packed her bag up. 

She snorted. “Yeah, why? Did you forget a gift?”

“Kind of...” Sonny muttered. “I forgot something important.”

Rollins didn’t push. “Well, whatever it is, it’ll work out.”

Sonny thanked her, told her goodnight, then watched her leave. Worry set upon him. He was not prepared. He hadn’t even gotten the haircut he wanted. He didn’t know what he would wear. He was panicking, but had to be ready, no matter what. If he backed out, he wasn’t sure when he would work up the courage again. 

On the morning of Christmas Eve, Sonny woke early. It wasn’t because he was excited or wanted to prepare, it was because he was so nervous that he could only manage a few hours. 

What if Rafael said no?

What if Rafael didn’t see himself spending his life with Sonny?

What if Rafael broke it off?

Like an angel and demon on his shoulders, Sonny reasoned with himself that he was being ridiculous. Rafael did want to be with him. Rafael would say yes. Rafael would leave the apartment that day with an engagement ring on his finger. 

Rafael got out of bed about an hour after Sonny. Sonny was sitting at the dining room table, wrapped in a blanket and enjoying his second cup of hot coffee. He was comfortable for the first time since yesterday, and he almost didn’t hear Rafael exit their bedroom. 

“Hey baby,” Rafael greeted. 

“Hi honey,” Sonny said in reply. 

Rafael poured his own mug and went to the table. He stood behind Sonny and rested a hand on his shoulder, then stroked his hand up to Sonny’s hair. 

“What are you doing up when we have such a big day? Too excited?”

“Something like that,” Sonny answered, leaning into Rafael’s touch. 

Rafael ran a hand through Sonny’s hair. “You okay?” he asked nicely. He must have sensed in Sonny’s tone that he was upset about something. 

“Yeah,” was all Sonny said as he turned his head to capture Rafael’s hand to kiss his palm. 

Rafael leaned over to kiss the side of Sonny’s head. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Sonny nodded. “I’m fine, though.”

“Okay,” Rafael said, then left Sonny to return to the kitchen. 

Sonny could hear Rafael busying himself, taking out plates and pans and opening the fridge. Sonny assumed he was making breakfast, but Sonny was too nervous to eat. He couldn’t even make himself get up to help, all he could do is sit and stare at the Christmas tree while his mind was arguing with itself over Rafael’s answer to his proposal. 

Like ripping off a band aid, Sonny thought he just needed to get it over with. He just needed to ask and get it out in the open. He just needed to give Rafael the ring and hope for the best. 

Sonny heard Rafael crack an egg and push the toaster down. 

He would do it...

Rafael cracked another egg. 

He could do it...

Rafael hummed softly to himself. It sounded like Santa, Baby.

Now...

“Actually,” Sonny announces suddenly, hopping up from his spot at the table. Before he could change his mind, he said, “There is something I want to talk about.”

Rafael looked up at him, startled. “Uh, okay, what is it?”

Sonny nervously licked his lips. He dropped his blanket on his chair. 

“C’mere,” he said, not thinking the kitchen was romantic enough. “Turn the burner off, will ya?”

Rafael did as told. Sonny took his hand and led him to the couch, where he set Rafael up nice and cozy. 

“You good?” Sonny asked. 

“Are you?” Rafael retorted, sounding skeptical. “I’m worried.”

Sonny took a deep breath. “Okay, here it goes. I want you to open a gift now.”

“What? But we do gifts tomorrow night—“

“I know, but this is important.” Sonny dug under the tree for a small nondescript box topped with a big bow. 

Rafael gasped. “Is this a key to your apartment?” he asked as he began to unwrap. 

“What?”

“You know, some people give gifts of keys to their apartment for Christmas,” he spoke as he tore open the paper. “I read an article that said Christmas is a big time for keys and—“

Inside the wrapping was a little black box. Inside the box was—what Sonny hoped to be—Rafael’s ring. 

“Engagement rings?” Sonny mumbled as Rafael seemed too in shock to finish. 

Rafael swallowed and looked up at Sonny. The toast in the toaster popped, but neither of them noticed. 

Rafael didn’t open the box. Sonny didn’t know what kind of sign that was. 

He kneeled in front of Rafael anyway. 

“Listen, Raf...” everything Sonny wanted to say was out the window and out of his head. 

But he continued, “I already consider myself the luckiest guy in the world that you chose me. I’m lucky that I get to wake up with you and eat dinner with you and sleep next to you. I’m lucky that I get to be with you at all. 

“I was just wondering if you would make me lucky enough to marry me.”

Rafael sniffled. Sonny couldn’t look into his eyes in fear that he’d cry. He just set his gaze on the box that Rafael was holding. 

“I love you,” Sonny whispered. 

Rafael lifted his head a little bit. He nosed along Sonny’s face until their lips caught. Sonny was sure he felt a tear on his face but he wasn’t sure who it came from. 

Sonny pecked his lips until he remembered he didn’t have an answer and Rafael hadn’t seen the ring. 

“You haven’t even looked at the ring,” Sonny muttered against Rafael’s lips. 

“I don’t care what it looks like,” Rafael answered, then resumed kissing Sonny. 

They kissed for a minute, smiling against each other’s lips, before Rafael broke away. 

“I’m lying, I care,” he said, and Sonny laughed. He stroked Rafael’s thighs. 

Rafael opened the box with no grand emotion. He popped the top and gasped a little bit. 

“Sonny, it’s gorgeous.”

“Yeah? You like it?”

The ring Sonny chose was a silver band with small diamonds encrusted in it. He wanted something flashy and shiny, but not a giant rock that women usually got. He wanted something that would give Rafael enough attention but not a shocking amount of his hand. 

“I really love it.”

“Here,” Sonny said. He took the ring out of the box and took Rafael’s hand. 

But then he paused. 

“What?” Rafael asked. 

“I haven’t gotten an answer.”

Rafael chuckled. “I haven’t been asked.”

Sonny’s smile widened. “Rafi, will you marry me?”

“Yes, of course.”

Sonny slipped the ring on Rafael’s finger as relief washed over him. 

Rafael took Sonny’s face in his hands, but he didn’t look at Sonny, he looked at the ring. 

“I love you,” Rafael said. 

“Me or the ring?”

“Both?”

It made Sonny happy. Making Rafael happy always made Sonny happy. 

Sonny situated himself on the couch next to

Rafael. They cuddled up, breakfast forgotten, just gazing at the tree and Rafael’s ring. Sonny kissed Rafael’s head over and over, and felt the heat and happiness radiating off of his new fiancé. 


	12. Family Tradition

“Why do we have to go?” Sonny mused for the fifth or so time that morning. 

He was tired. He wanted to stay home on his one day off that week, until, of course, Wednesday, when he wasn’t going to be able to rest despite having the day off. He just wanted to sleep. He just needed rest. 

“Yes,” Rafael answered again. “We do have to go. You already said—“

“I know I said,” Sonny snapped. God, he was so tired. 

It was the Sunday before Christmas, and they had to go out to Staten Island for the day. Sonny’s family had a tradition to bake all day and save the snacks for the holiday. Sonny’s mother’s updated kitchen with a huge island and double oven was perfect for baking a dozen different kinds of cookies at dozens each. 

Sonny didn’t want to go. He was so tired that he wasn’t in any mood to deal with family or spend the day on his feet, working harder than everyone else to help his mom. 

Rafael figured Sonny would take a nap when they got to his parents’ house. Rafael didn’t really need Sonny there, except that Rafael didn’t exactly drive and he wasn’t able to Lyft all the way to Staten Island. He just needed Sonny to get him to and from. 

And, if he was honest, Rafael was looking forward to spending the day baking with the family. He didn’t like to engage in this tradition in the past; he never felt enough a part of the family. But this year, Rafael had been attending the tradition for five years, through new babies and new life events, and he finally felt like he belonged. He really didn’t want Sonny to ruin that for him. 

“Just nap when we get there,” Rafael almost begged. In what world was it him begging to take part in family time? 

Sonny groaned. “I’m sleepy!”

“I’ll get you some coffee. A big sweet one that you like from down the street.”

“Can I get whipped cream?” Sonny whined. 

“You know whipped cream gives you a stomach ache.”

Sonny groaned again. 

“Fine!” Rafael cried to shut him up. “Fine. Let’s just go, okay? You told your mom we’d be there by ten.”

Sonny, who was sitting on the couch, raised a hand for Rafael to help him up. Rafael grabbed him and lifted. 

Sonny slumped against him. 

“You can’t drive like this,” Rafael said. 

“You drive,” Sonny retorted. Then he snorted, “Oh, wait.”

Rafael pinched his side. Sonny yelped and jumped. 

Rafael stepped away from him. “It’ll be fun,” he tried. 

“Yeah, I know. I’m just tired.”

Rafael frowned. Maybe they should just stay home. They can contribute to the abundance of Christmas baked goods by picking up some pies or a cake. He didn’t have to make Sonny go if Sonny wanted to stay home to sleep. 

Rafael sighed. “Look, Son, we can just stay home—“ 

“What? No, I don’t mean it, Raf. I know how important it is for my family, for us. It’s a thing, you know? A thing we do.”

“A tradition?”

“Right. And after all the years I’ve fought with you, I’m excited to see you ready to go. I am, I swear. Just...let me wake up a little.”

Rafael bounced on his toes to kiss Sonny’s cheek. “Want to cat nap while I run down the street?”

“Nah,” Sonny said, picking up his coat from the back of the couch. “You need me to keep you warm. Plus, if I let you go alone, you wouldn’t get me whipped cream.”

Rafael ticked. “It’ll hurt your tummy.” 

Sonny smiled and kissed Rafael’s head. “I’ll take my chances,” he said before he wrapped Rafael’s scarf around his neck and dragged him out the door. 

The day ended with hundreds of delicious cookies and Rafael feeling that much closer to the Carisi family. 

His family. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had chapter 13 ready to go. In my head I thought, haha-unlucky 13, what could go wrong?   
> Well, I accidentally deleted it. It was long, too. A whole thing. I’ll try again. But now I’m sad. Oh well. Wish me luck.


	13. Holiday Crafts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty close to the original. Hope you enjoy!

Rafael did not love going to the Bronx. It was far, he had to ride the subway, and it was just...the Bronx. 

Okay, so it wasn’t that far, and the subway ride wasn’t terrible. It was just that Rafael still had never gotten used to being at home without his Abuela. She’d been gone for years and still, the trek and the visit always put him in a poor mood.

But this year, the weekend after Thanksgiving, Rafael knew his mother had ulterior motives for inviting him to help her set up the Christmas tree: she wanted him to bring Sonny home. 

Sonny had never been to the Bronx with Rafael. They hadn’t been dating that long—almost a year, but who was counting—and he’d only spent time with Lucia at a restaurant or, once or twice, at Rafael’s apartment. Rafael knew she wanted Sonny on her turf, in her playing field, and Rafael was almost okay subjecting Sonny to that, since Sonny’s family had done it to him about a month into their relationship. 

Sonny was excited to go to Lucia’s house. He was excited to help them in this family tradition. 

“It’s not a tradition,” Rafael argued. “She just wants to ask you a hundred personal questions and have the upper hand at her own home.”

“Maybe it can be a tradition,” Sonny said, kissing the tip of Rafael’s nose. 

He was in a good mood, and Rafael was glad. Maybe Sonny’s mood would bring him up. 

They arrived at Lucia’s house in the afternoon. Rafael had not mentioned they were also invited to church, because he didn’t want to spend that much time with his mother. He thought they could get the tree, have a late lunch or early dinner, and get out. Two hours, tops. They could use the excuse of having an early morning. 

He did not expect to walk into the house while Lucia was barely getting out the ingredients for a huge and elaborate meal. 

“Mami,” Rafael greeted, partially thought gritted teeth. “I thought we were having lunch.”

“And I said dinner. Welcome, Sonny.”

Lucia greeted both of them with a hug and kiss, and Rafael was glad at that. At least she liked Sonny. 

They sat in the kitchen for an hour, offering to help Lucia but being batted away. Instead, she asked Sonny to tell her about himself, and Sonny didn’t hold back. 

He told her about his life growing up, his sisters and nieces and nephews; he told her about his school and his jobs, his interests and hobbies; he told her about his life now and how wonderful her son was. 

“Thank you Sonny,” Lucia said, smiling at Rafael. “I’m glad he’s a gentleman.”

“Oh, he is. And I think you can tell a lot about a guy by how he was raised by his mom.”

“Is that so?” Lucia asked, lifting an eyebrow. 

Rafael silently begged Sonny not to say something stupid. 

“Yeah, I mean, most of the stuff I know I learned from my mom. She not only taught me every day life skills, but also how to care and how to help people. She was a nurse forever before she retired. She takes care of my dad ‘cause God knows he couldn’t do it on his own. My ma’s the best person I know.

“Now Rafi, he’s tough as nails and confident as hell. And I know he got that from you, ma’am. You’re an independent woman and you raised Raf on your own. Plus, what Rafi’s said about your work for your neighborhood, that’s where he got his passionate caring from. You’re to thank for this guy.”

Lucia smiled. Rafael could tell she really appreciated his speech. 

Rafael, however, couldn’t tell if it was all bullshit or if Sonny meant it. Knowing Sonny, he meant it completely, but the doubt in Rafael knows the shit he could say to talk up to someone. They were both lawyers. 

But Sonny was too honest to just bullshit his way through a conversation. He was too nice. 

“Thank you Sonny,” Lucia said again. “And if it’s bullshit, I’ll look the other way this time.”

Rafael snorted and almost choked on his drink. Sonny’s wide and fearful eyes was just the icing on top of Lucia’s comment. 

“Oh, n-no, ma’am, I—“ Sonny stammered. 

Lucia chuckled. “Sonny, I’m joking.”

Rafael was smiling at Sonny’s misery. It was comical. Poor Sonny. However, he knew Sonny was on her good side, or else she wouldn’t have joked with him. 

Sonny was still shaken as conversation resumed. It wasn’t long until Lucia asked the men to start getting the tree stuff down. 

“This will take a while,” she said, winking at Rafael. 

Rafael rolled his eyes, knowing exactly what she was doing. “We’re being held hostage,” he muttered to Sonny as they exited the room. 

“I love spending time here,” Sonny answered. 

“You don’t have to bullshit any more, Sonny,” Lucia said. 

Sonny blushed all the way to his ears. Rafael laughed and dragged Sonny to the entrance of the attic. 

“That’s the door?” Sonny asked, pointing to the attic door. 

“Yeah. Let me grab a ladder—“

Sonny jumped on the balls of his feel and easily gripped the pull-tie. 

“This,” Rafael said, “This is why you get a tall boyfriend.”

“Is that why you keep me around?” Sonny asked. 

Rafael climbed the first three steps, then turned so he was taller than Sonny. He loomed over Sonny and smirked. 

“You have your perks,” Rafael said, then he kissed Sonny before turning to head up the stairs again. 

It took the men longer to get the tree stuff down than to assemble. In an hour and some change, the tree was up and ready to be decorated. Luckily, dinner was ready, too. 

Rafael didn’t like that their few hours of visiting was taking forever, but he sat at the table and readily ate what Lucia served them. He ended up glad too, because a home cooked meal hit the spot. 

After their long dinner, where Lucia wouldn’t let them leave without seconds or thirds and a ton of conversation, Rafael finally said it was time to finish the tree so they could go home. 

“Rafi...” Lucia whined or warned. 

“Mami,” Rafael retorted right back. “You know we have an early morning and you’ve kept us here long enough.”

Lucia rolled her eyes, but allowed the men to begin hanging the lights. 

As Rafael perfected the lights and setting the tree in its exact spot, Sonny began going through ornaments with Lucia. But not just any ornaments; he began to help Lucia look through the entire box of Rafael’s homemade ornaments and projects from childhood. The box was full of little paper and some fabric items that Lucia had laminated or preserved in some way, and that she inevitably hung every year. 

“Rafi, look!” Sonny cried, picking up a larger ornament that looked like an angel. On one side of it was a Polaroid photo of Rafael dressed as an angel that he had to wear for a Christmas program at church. 

“You’re so cute!” Sonny added. 

“I hate this,” Rafael replied. 

Lucia handed Sonny another ornament, one Rafael made when he was about six. “Mira,” she said. 

Sonny practically squealed. 

“I actually hate both of you,” Rafael said. 

Lucia kept handing Sonny ornaments with photos, and Sonny kept fawning over how cute Rafael was. 

Rafael was ignored the entire time. 

“I wonder which would kill me faster,” Rafael contemplated, “Diving off this ladder or gouging my eye with a light?”

“Rafi, you made this little Santa?!” Sonny answered. 

Rafael just rolled his eyes. 

“I wish my ma would’ve kept all my stuff like this,” Sonny said. “She did for a while, ‘til there got to be too much, so she downsized. There’s four of us after all, and she also wanted to make room for grandkids.”

Lucia lifted an eyebrow at Rafael. “Maybe sometime I’ll downsize for that same reason.”

“I doubt you would,” Rafael replied. “You’re obsessive.”

“You’re my only child.”

“Obsessed with me.”

Lucia rolled her eyes. Sonny just smiled at them. Rafael knew he was caught on her grandchild joke. 

Finally, after Sonny hung every single handmade ornament, they left. It was late, freezing, and they had to catch the subway before it stopped running for the night. 

Nonetheless, Sonny was happy, so Rafael was happy. 

“Thanks for bringing me,” Sonny said as they walked down the street. 

“I didn’t have a choice.”

“Yeah, but still. I liked being a part of something. A family thing.”

Rafael wanted to remind him that it was never a thing before. 

Instead, he just grabbed Sonny’s hand between them and made a mental plan to make decorating Lucia’s tree a thing next year. 


End file.
